There are several things I dislike about how people are “supposed” to go about finding a new job. So many of the recommended (and sometimes required) tactics go against my own moral code, and I hate that I will have to do things that I flat out do not agree with. I am generally a modest person; I do not like flaunting what I have, because doing so has brought me trouble in the past. And, being boastful is part of one of the cardinal sins, no? But selling yourself, talking about how awesome you are, is one of the essential parts of the job search — in resumes, cover letters, interviews, and follow-ups. Unfortunately, tooting your own horn is the only way for companies to know what a valuable addition you would be; letting companies find out after hiring you is just not the way it works anymore. Finding the fine line between being boastful and presenting a good image is quite difficult… and I’m trying to find a way to present myself well while being modest, too, since that is a big part of who I am. But, since I don’t have many tangible assets (awards, job experience, volunteer records, etc.), I have to sell my skills, and presenting those in a non-boastful manner is proving to be exceptionally difficult.

I spent a while in a Barnes and Noble the other day, reading through Resumes for Dummies. Most of it was aimed for baby boomers re-entering the workforce; it explained what the internet is, how to use job search engines, and all kinds of other computer-related things that have been second nature to me since I was old enough to talk (it explained that you should use a word processor on a computer to create a resume, not write it by hand or use a typewriter. I’m sure that’s useful advice for someone in their 50s, but to me and my generation… seriously?). However, it did have some useful information on how to make a resume as a recent graduate, and how to make a resume based on skills rather than experience. The part I want to rant about, however, is the final appended chapter on follow-ups.

The last chapter presented methods on what to do after you send your resume to a company. It gave time frames on when to call the recruiting personnel, how to get past secretaries and “gatekeepers,” and what to say when you finally get through to the person who will make the decision about whether to hire you. Some of the time frames were weeks long, telling you to call several times per week to get through to to the person, and what to tell them in voicemails: selling your assets over and over again, and telling them why it’s stupid to put off hiring you.

I have several objections to that tactic. It seems to preach that as long as you stay persistent, the hiring person will eventually cave in and hire you. If you bother the person and his secretaries long enough, he will eventually give in. How is that a good tactic? Don’t you want to be hired by a company that wants you for your skills, not one that gave in to incessant messages and sales pitches? There is a line between being persistent and being belligerent, and the book seemed to recommend going way past the line. I might have a narrow-minded view of this, since I’m a recent graduate from a top university and just my degree puts me several notches above a lot of people; I won’t have to call incessantly to be noticed. I also balk at any small action on my part that causes another person annoyance or undue stress. The meek shall inherit the earth, or suchlike. I’m sure Type-A potential I-bankers or traders would have a different view on this tactic than I do, but from my viewpoint (I’m 70% Type B), it’s a terrible way to go about things. That view might cost me some jobs. Maybe I’m relying too much on my degree to get me offers. But I would rather stick with my own moral code and get fewer offers over a longer time period, than throw the code out the window and bully myself into a job in a way that I would regret for a long time, no matter how awesome the job is or how fast I procure it.

Another thing that irks me is that most career search resources seem to only support one mindset when it comes to the job search: the aggressive one. That is, pretty much the opposite of what I believe in. I’m Type B, not aggressive, realistic, a still-waters-run-deep kind of mindset. I believe in letting my skills speak for themselves without having to sell them (relying on embellishment, which is just short of lying — and just as deplorable — in my opinion), and letting companies discover me. I think that once I get in, I’d be found invaluable and be able to flourish and benefit any company. But to get in, I have to be not myself. How is that possibly a good thing?

I haven’t finished redoing my resume yet, and haven’t started actually applying for jobs, so I don’t know if, despite my opinions on the job search, I will be successful in finding a job before I go absolutely stir-crazy living with my parents. I guess I’ll find out. But when I’m disgusted with the whole process, and face having to be someone I’m not, how can I possibly do this and stay true to who I am?

Anyway, aside from all kinds of potential career-related changes that are happening, my easiest change is a return to my photoblog! I will aim to post a picture every day of 2010: http://lifefromthelens.wordpress.com/.

I stopped updating my photo blog at the end of October when my job status took a turn for the worse (if you want to know more, ask me… it’s too in depth for a lighthearted blog entry), and Maslow’s Hierarchy took over… but now, hopefully, I’ve figured enough out so that I can start enjoying more of the top of the pyramid again. We’ll see.

Let’s see if I can stick to the blog this year. I don’t believe in huge super life-changing resolutions, since they never really last past January anyway… but hopefully posting a picture every day is an attainable goal.

(X) Grease
(X) Pirates of the Caribbean
(X) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest
() Boondock Saints
(X) Fight Club
(X) Starsky and Hutch
() Neverending Story
(X) Blazing Saddles
(X) Airplane
Total so far: 7

(X) The Princess Bride
(X) AnchorMan
(X) Napoleon Dynamite
() Labyrinth
() Saw
() Saw II
() White Noise
() White Oleander
() Anger Management
(X) 50 First Dates
(X) The Princess Diaries
(X) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 13

() Scream
() Scream 2
() Scream 3
() Scary Movie
() Scary Movie 2
() Scary Movie 3
() Scary Movie 4
(X) American Pie
() American Pie 2
() American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 14

(X) Harry Potter 1
(X) Harry Potter 2
(X) Harry Potter 3
(X) Harry Potter 4
() Resident Evil 1
() Resident Evil 2
(X) The Wedding Singer
()Little Black Book
()The Village
(X) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 20

(X) Finding Nemo
(X) Finding Neverland
() Signs
(X) The Grinch
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
() White Chicks
(X) Butterfly Effect
(X) 13 Going on 30
(X) I, Robot
(X)Robots
Total so far: 27

(X) Dodgeball
()Universal Soldier
() Lemony Snickt: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(X) Along Came Polly
(X) Deep Impact
() KingPin
(X) Never Been Kissed
(X) Meet The Parents
() Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
(X) King Kong
Total so far: 33

(X) A Cinderella Story
(X) The Terminal
(X) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
(X) Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
() Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
() Halloween
() The Ring
() The Ring 2
()Surviving X-Mas
(X) Flubber
Total so far: 38

(X)Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
() Practical Magic
()Chicago
() Ghost Ship
() From Hell
() Hellboy
() Secret Window
() I Am Sam
(X) The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 36

(X) The Day After Tomorrow
() Child’s Play
() Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
(X) Ten Things I Hate About You
(X) Just Married
() Gothika
() Nightmare on Elm Street
(X) Sixteen Candles
() Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
() The Grudge
() The Grudge 2
(X) The Mask
() Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 45

() Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
()Lucky Number Slevin
(X) Ocean’s Eleven
(X) Ocean’s Twelve
() Bourne Identity
() Bourne Supremecy
() Lone Star: State of mind
(X) Bedazzled
(X) Predator
() Predator II
() The Fog
(X) Ice Age
() Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George
Total so far: 50

(X) Independence Day
() Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
() Darkness Falls
() Christine
(X) ET
() Children of the Corn
(X) My Bosses Daughter
(X) Maid in Manhattan
() War of the Worlds
() Rush Hour
() Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 54

() Best Bet
(X) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(X) She’s All That
() Calendar Girls
(X) Sideways
() Mars Attacks
() Event Horizon
(X) Ever After
(X) Wizard of Oz
(X) Forrest Gump
() Big Trouble in Little China
(X) The Terminator
(X) The Terminator 2
Total so far: 62

(X) X-Men
(X) X-Men 2
(X) X-Men 3
(X) Spider-Man
(X) Spider-Man 2
(X) Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
(X) Catch Me If You Can
(X) The Little Mermaid
(X) Freaky Friday
() Reign of Fire
() The Skulls
(X) Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
(X) Shrek
(X) Shrek 2
Total so far: 74

() Swimfan
() Miracle on 34th street
() Old School
(X) The Notebook
() K-Pax
() Krippendorf’s Tribe
(X) A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
(X) The 40-year-old-virgin
Total so far: 77

(X) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(X) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(X) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(X) Raiders of the Lost Ark
(X) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(X) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 83

() Baseketball
() Hostel
() Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devil’s Rejects
() Elf
()Highlander
(X) Mothman Prophecies
() American History X
() Three
Total so Far: 84

() The Jacket
() Kung Fu Hustle
(X) Shaolin Soccer
() Night Watch
(X) Monsters inc.
(X) Titanic
(X) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
() Dawn Of the Dead
() Willard
Total so far: 88

() High Tension
() Club Dread
(X) The Hulk
(X) Shaun Of the Dead
() Hook
(X) Chronicles Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
() 28 Days Later
() Orgazmo
(X) Phantom of the Opera
() Waterworld
Total so far: 92

(X) Kill Bill vol 1
(X) Kill Bill vol 2
() Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
() Kingdom of Heaven
() The Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
() Army of Darkness
Total so far: 94

(X) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(X) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(X) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(X) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(X) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(X) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
()Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 100

(X) The Matrix
(X) The Matrix Reloaded
(X) The Matrix Revolutions
() Animatrix
() Evil Dead
() Evil Dead 2
() Team America World Police
() Red Dragon
() Silence of the Lambs
() Hannibal
Ending Total: 103

I’m sure I’ve done this before… but yay. I have no life. Haha. I just really like movies.

http://slashnburn.wordpress.com/2009/10/04/things-that-ruined-my-day/

for the best rant I’ve had in a while. That’s the joint blog I made with Adrian and Eugena, for those very few who don’t know… I wonder how many people read this, anyway. Hmm. Anyway, go see my rant; I’m proud of my storytelling. Haha.

http://lifefromthelens.wordpress.com

Rather than using this current blog as a photoblog, I created an entirely new WordPress blog for it. Since I feel the need to explain myself to Mr. I-Comment-On-Everything-Ever (you know who you are… actually, so does everyone else), I shall.

a) I really like the photoblog theme I found on WordPress, for the new site. It picks the colors for the site based on the colors in the photo it’s currently displaying. I wish the empty strips on the sides were black instead of white (the emphasis would be so much nicer), but I don’t know how to change that. I don’t know enough CSS (that’s next on the list of things to learn in my spare time). But still, that’s a small problem. I also don’t like the front page; if there’s no photo on it, it’s ugly and unceremonial, but if there is a photo on it, the photo is massive and defeats the purpose of a front page (also, that one photo will get old quite fast). Again, not sure how to fix it. But those are just bugs to work out.

b) Going off (a), if I were to use this current blog as a photoblog, I would have to switch the theme to the photoblog one, since I don’t think this theme is good for displaying photos. And, like I said, the format without a photo is ugly. Maybe if I learn enough CSS I can change that, but for now, I think a separate site will be easiest.

c) I decided, rather than doing themes, I would just post my photos at random, photoshopped or not, just to display my work. I’ll create fairly detailed categories, to sort them somewhat, but the posting will be random. I think that kind of captures the essence of photography, from my standpoint: if something catches my eye as I’m walking around with my camera, I stop and take a picture of it (much to Adrian’s chagrin, if he’s with me), no matter what it is, or what I’m trying to photograph at the moment.

d) Subject to change! And I’m always open to suggestions, though I might not always follow them.

I’m really liking web design and presentation of information on a computer… it’s making me think I would have done well in a graphic design or web design academic path. Maybe my next big venture will be buying a domain and making my own website from scratch, the XHTML/CSS way. I really really like having evenings and weekends to myself… no homework to get in the way of life! Of course, my life is kinda boring and sometimes sucky right now… but that’s in no way a permanent thing.

Whee optimism!

Edit one day later I figured out how to make the background black. It’s pretty much the easiest thing ever. BUT… you have to pay to custom edit the CSS on WordPress. DAMMIT.

Edit part two I decided to post one picture per day. That’s a good amount, right? Not too many, not too few. Also, I took off the stupid front page and now it just shows the most recent post (it didn’t before when I was creating it; must have been buggy or something). So, in theory, there will be a new front page every day!

Edit part three Looks like I’m using this blog to rant about changes to my other blog. Haha.

So, I need to find something to do on weekends that is a) free, and b) not sitting in front of the computer messing around on the internet all day. My first plan was reading more, and I opened a library account. And I do plan to read more. But, I got an even better idea just now.

I am going to start a photoblog! I have a nice camera, and it’s digital. Meaning, taking pictures is free. So, I will go out on weekends and take pictures of things, photoshop them (I’m learning photoshop), and put them up online. I can have a different theme each weekend or something. I’ll pick a few choice pictures each week and talk about them, instead of just dumping all my pictures on Shutterfly (though I’ll still do that). It’ll get me through the long lonely weekends, I’m hoping.

So, stay tuned for my new photoblog, coming soon! I need a name… suggestions welcome. Theme suggestions are also welcome.

I started my new job today. I’m working for a small energy auditing and design engineering company… so small that I’m one of the very first employees. Today consisted of meeting in a coffee shop, and I got the entire job explained to me before lunch. Then I went home to start playing with some of the new software I have to use.

Of course, being me, I started panicking that I have so much to learn… clients are being lined up for me, and I have to get certified in like 20 different things and I have to learn all kinds of standards and language. I feel like I wasted the afternoon thinking about all that I should be doing and learning, and not knowing how I could possibly meet all of my boss’s expectations.

I then realized I expect myself to come about things naturally, that I don’t give myself time to learn things, that I can’t be in the dark about anything. I am so unbelievably terrified of letting someone down, of disappointing people, whether it be my boss, a client, a friend, or my mom. I can’t be new at something. Why do I think that way?

I have always wanted to please people, to make them happy, to make them smile, to make their lives better. Or, to do my job so well that I’m an immediate asset to anything. More often than not, that all has been at the expense of my own wants or feelings. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m some kind of selfless martyr who deserves sainthood or something. But I do need to be more assertive and less of a pushover.

And, I just somewhat convinced myself, it’s ok that I know nothing about what I’m supposed to do for my new job, because it’s my new job. No one is perfect on the first day of their first real job. Myself included, much as I wish I were immediately good at everything I attempt.

Trying to stay positive…. trying so hard…

The first week or so was, to say the least, not awesome. Moving in was horrible, driving a UHaul in and around the city was one of the worst experiences of my life, and the weather has been disgustingly hot and humid. All in all, not a good first impression of the city, and some days I just want to pretend never existed.

But I’ve had a couple days to settle in a little bit, and hide in my apartment that is slowly becoming livable, and I’m feeling more optimistic about things. As somewhat of a documentation for myself, I am going to make a list of the things I like, and the things I don’t like, about the city as of right now. I want to see how they change as I get used to living here.

Things I Like:

• I’m living in Downtown Manhattan. It feels quite safe walking around even at night, much more so than Brooklyn would have been, I think. The streets are busy during the day, but it quiets down at night, which I like; I’m not really a night life person.
• Rent is dirt cheap for this area of the city. Yay recession!
• I enjoy riding the subway. People-watching on the subway is way fun. There are so many interesting characters. Just the other day I saw a little Hispanic man playing a guitar on the subway (not just in the station). And today I saw a guy flat-out dancing with his headphones on… it was like an iPod commercial.
• There are four major subway stations within a block of where I live. How convenient!
• I like the anonymity. I’ve found I don’t really care what I look like when I go out to run errands, because the chances of meeting someone I know are very small. Practically nothing.
• There is a lot to do. I just have to find things. That’s the hard part.

Things I Don’t Like:

• The city is HUGE. I realized that I was going into this thinking that I had to learn the complete layout of the city and all the subway/bus routes and everything from the get-go. That, needless to say, is a very daunting task. And nigh impossible. And, not necessary in the slightest.
• The scads of creepy people on the sidewalks. You know, all the homeless people who talk to themselves, or the mentally challenged people who talk at other people (I saw a woman being affronted at a bus stop by a creepy old man today). On a side note, I think it’s really weird when people walk down the street talking to themselves. People who seem perfectly mentally stable. It’s just… weird. That is all.
• The weather is kind of sucky right now… I hate humidity. So much. I’m sick of being sweaty all the time and wilting every time I go outside. My apartment has AC, but I use it sparingly so energy costs are low. But that brings me to another point.
• I wish I were living alone. It’s not that I don’t like the people I’m living with. But I didn’t realize until now how sick I am of having to share space. Even if I keep my costs down by barely running the AC, turning lights off, unplugging things, there’s no guarantee that I will actually pay less. I have to pay for other people’s use of things. And since we’ve prorated everything since the rooms are all really different, it’s complicated and probably not 100% fair for anyone. Also, having to buy common furniture and such like a couch and things… not something I would have done living alone. Not right away, at least. Space is at a premium in the city, and buying a lot of furniture is kind of stupid. All I could think of when I was hauling my IKEA stuff around before assmbling it was moving out is going to be a bitch. And an expensive bitch. But that is 14 months away.
• The uncertainty of my job. But that will change soon, I hope. I start in 10 days, maybe sooner if I finish settling in.
• The city is effing expensive. And dirty.

There you have it. My initial thoughts on the city. I haven’t taken my camera out for a spin yet… hopefully the weather will dry out a little bit soon so I can go walk around for a while and not sweat myself to death. That’s a pleasant image.

Hopefully things will continue to look up… I think this city thing could work. I don’t know how my job will be yet, and that will probably be a big factor in my opinion of life here. But we shall see.

Ridiculously long questionnaire thingy!

So from now on, you’re going to be asked unique questions, you ready?
Obv.
Is there a certain guy in mind, you cant get OFF your mind?
Well, I have a boyfriend, so yes. Him.

Would you like a non-virgin Pina Colada or Daiquiri?
I like sugary alcoholic drinks, so yes, either would be nice.

What do you wear more, jeans or sweats?
Jeans out in public, sweats at home.

Are there any previous relationships you wish could have lasted longer?
Sure. 20/20 hindsight and all that. Though what’s done is done.

Ever jumped/fallen/been pushed in a pool with your clothes on?
Not that I can remember.

Can you do the alphabet in sign language?
Yeah, I learned it in elementary school.

What’s your relationship with the person you last texted?
Good friend and ex-apartment mate.

How many states have you been to?
All but 11… so 39. Plus Puerto Rico. Does that count?

Have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with a J?
Nope.

Would you rather write with a gel pen or Sharpie?
I used to be obsessed with gel pens in middle school… I would carry around a small bag full of them. But now, I woudl choose sharpies.

Doesn’t orange juice taste terrible after you brush your teeth?
Yes! Ughh!

Do you plan on going to your high school’s reunion?
Yeah, probably. It’ll be interesting.

When you say you don’t care, do you mean it?
Usually, yes. I don’t like being passive aggressive. That never benefits anyone.

When will your next kiss be?
Probably late August?

Can you play guitar hero?
Expert, baby!

Do you like crossword and sudoku puzzles?
Yeah. It’s hereditary.

What do you mostly watch on YouTube?
All kinds of things. Time lapse videos, those Japanese comedy shows, and the occasional music video.

Do you believe in forever?
What does that even mean? Could this question be more broad?

What’s the background on your cell?
Some sunset over Lake Cayuga.

Do you have dimples?
Nope. I used to wish I did, though.

Do you consider 4/20 a holiday?
Haha, no.

What is the last thing that you swallowed?
Lemonade. What a sketchy question.

Do you speak any other language?
Does Matlab count? Probably not. I took a few years of Latin in high school.

If the last person you spoke to online kissed you, what would you do?
Kiss back, since he’s my boyfriend… haha.

Wearing any bracelets?
Nope.

Three words that explain why you last threw up?
Indian food poisoning.

Are you a bitch?
Nope. What’s the point? I hate displeasing people in any way.

Would you rather marry Batman or Superman?
Batman.

If you walk by a mirror, will you check yourself out in it?
Depends on how I feel I look that day, and who’s around at the time.

What is something in the next few months that you’re looking forward to?
Having my own income and starting my new life in the big wide world.

If your last ex said “I hate you”, what would you say?
Probably nothing. He’s my ex, what’s the point?

Will you talk to the person you like on the phone tonight?
Nope… we both hate phones. haha.

Ever had a near death experience?
Not that I can remember… so therefore, no. It seems like something I would remember.

Where’s your cell phone?
On the floor next to my computer.

What is the last thing you thought about?
How much my internet connection sucks. (This is a stupid question. Of course the last thing I thought about was the previous question’s answer, but that’s a lame answer. Bah)

Do you regret anything?
Of course. How else would I improve my life?

If you found out you were pregnant who would you tell?
The father.

What are you going to do this weekend?
Pack, maybe go into the mountains to take pictures.

When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
Last night.

Do you prefer revenge or just pure jealousy/envy?
Uh, neither. I’m not a vindictive person, I don’t think.

Who would you like your next “fling” to be with?
I’m not a “fling” person.

Would you curse in front of your parents?
Of course.

What kind of camera do you have?
Nikon D40 DSLR. <3 <3

Would you rather go to a party or out of town?
Out of town. I’m not a party person, really. Unless I know everyone there well.

Are you slowly drifting away from someone close?
Probably. Graduation does that.

When was the last time you held someone’s hand?
Sunday afternoon (today’s Wednesday).

Who can you tell everything to?
My journal. I’m a very private person, and there are a lot of things I write that I would never tell anyone. Next in line is Adrian.

Is any part of your body sore?
My back kind of hurts… my bed at home sucks.

Missing someone right now?
Yeah… long-distance relationships do that.

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn’t be?
Not by my judgment.

Do you like your phone?
I guess so, but it’s getting old, and I kind of want one with internet access now…

Have any of your best friends ever back stabbed you?
Yeah, unfortunately.

What’s the seventh text message in your inbox say?
“Can you say crack addict?” Bahahahahaha….

When is your next road trip?
Driving back to NYC from Ithaca in a UHaul at the end of next week ish, I think…

What did you do this weekend?
Enjoy my last weekend in Chicago. Including eating at Obama’s favorite Chicago deli. Haha.

Met anyone new in the past week?
Uh… I don’t think so actually.

Are you currently fighting with someone?
Nope.

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
Uh, no idea.

Who/What would you like to see right now?
Lots of things/people. My friends are all scattered to all the corners of the world!

Are you mad at someone right now?
Nope. It’s nice. I hate when I’m mad at people, even if I have good reason. It makes me feel like a bad person.

What’s the nicest text in your inbox say?
“Can you say crack addict?” Hahahahaha…. I jest. None of the texts are really any nicer than any others. Also, texts are private.

Do you mainly use your house phone or your cell phone?
Cell.

Is there an empty place in your heart?
Nope.

Do you count down the days till anything?
I do that on principle… because I’m weird and keep track of all kinds of things that normal people don’t. Haha.

Have you ever been called a tease?
I don’t think so.

Are any of your friends so close that you consider them family?
My friends are my family.

Anyone told you a secret this week?
How ironic… “Secret” by Maroon 5 came up on shuffle, just as I came to this question. Weird. Anyway, to answer the question, nothing that they expressly called a “secret.”

Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
It turns itself off sometimes. But the only time I actively turn it off is on airplanes.

Last time you wore the opposite sex’s clothing?
I’m technically wearing men’s pants right now… they’re pajama pants, and they’re men’s because that’s the only way I get them long enough.

What do you want in your life right now?
To enjoy myself. Right now, that means to enjoy living in NYC and to enjoy my impending job, both of which I’m rather dubious of at the moment.

When was the last time you laughed so hard you thought you were going to cry?
I did so in a dream last night, but that doesn’t really count. In real life, it has to be when we went to Monsters vs. Aliens 3D on Slope Day (May 1), and I actually did laugh so hard I cried.

Did you tell someone something today?
Uh, yeah. I’m not a hermit.

Do you trust people easily?
Yeah, I do. That has gotten me in trouble before.

What were you doing at 9pm Friday night?
Questing for Pepsi Natural in Chicago. Or watching Office Space. I don’t remember the timing.

Is there a person that you can go to in sweats, hair a mess, and still feel comfy?
Yeah, several people; that’s the beauty of living with close friends.

Do you like where you live?
Right now, I don’t really live anywhere… hopefully I’ll like NYC come next week.

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Uh… that’s private.

Who knows your secrets?
My journal knows them all. All my friends each know at least a few, some more than others.

Kiss on the forehead?
What kind of question is this? Is it do I want one? Or do I prefer one? Or when was the last one? Wtf?

Do you straighten your hair?
Yep, most of the time.

Has a good friendship ended recently that you wish had not?
Hopefully not… hard to tell when big life changes happen.

Who is the last person to send you a message on myspace?
I deleted my myspace account like a year ago. I think it was some sketchball who liked my profile picture.

How old will you be in 4 years?
26. Gah.

Do you still talk to your friends from elementary school?
Mmm… maybe one or two? A lot of them have been in my dreams as of late… weird.

What’s wrong with you right now?
I have a deep bruise on my arm that has been there for at least 3 weeks that has turned at least 15 differnt colors and still hasn’t healed completely, and I still have no idea where it came from. Slash “wrong” is a very broad term.

What is the last beverage you had?
Lemonade.

Are you happy right now?
Yeah. I really am.

Do you like being home alone?
Yeah, it’s fun. It’ll be fun when I have my own apartment… but that probably won’t be for a few years.

Connection between you and the last person who text messaged you?
Wtf? This question already happened. And the answer is the same. good friend/ex-apartment mate.

Does it bother you when people spell/type your name incorrectly?
It happens so often I’m used to it now.

Who was the last person you talked to last night before bed?
Comet, my kitty! Haha. The last human was my mom, though.

Is there anyone you trust who you shouldn’t?
Probably.

Have you ever cried over a text?
Yes.

Do you have anything that belongs to a partner or an ex partner?
Uh… maybe? I’m not sure.

Think back 5 months ago, were you single?
Yeah, but a relationship was nigh.

Have you ever kissed someone with their ears gauged?
No? What does that mean?

When was the last time you cried?
Uh… in the last few weeks, I forget when exactly.

Is the last person you texted you, younger or older?
Older by 5 days. Now many of my friends can figure out who it is!

Have you ever had a school picture turn out absolutely dreadful?
Yeah, just once. Yay for retakes!

Does it bother you when you text somebody and they take forever to respond?
Sometimes.

Who did you spend at least two hours with today?
Parents.

Have you ever fallen asleep texting someone?
Not really… I usually end conversations before going to sleep.

Have you ever lost a close friend?
Yeah, if “lost” means stopped being friends. If “lost” means they died, then no. God, that would be horrible.

Do you act differently around the person you like?
Probably. Actually, yes, I do, since certain people notice… haha.

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
Nope.

November 2004, were you single?
Yeah. Wow, that was a long time ago.

Are you listening to music? If so, what?
Yeah, my “personal hidden meaning” playlist.

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?
Chicago.

How long does it take you to get ready in the mornings?
If I don’t eat breakfast, 20 mins.

Anything else?
…what? I’m awesome.

Do you like being the center of attention?
Not usually.

What’s your favorite word?
I have a rather extensive list that I’ve been updating for the past 2 years… right now I really like “exquisite” and “flippant”.

What’s your favorite flavor of Vitamin Water?
The only time I’ve had Vitamin Water it was the XXX flavor, whatever that is. I prefer Sobe Life Water. Or just plain water.

Which is more attractive: Blue eyes or Green eyes?
Green, I guess. Color doesn’t really matter as long as there’s light and intelligence behind them.

Blond hair or brunette hair?
Brunette.

Are you eating anything right now?
No, but I’m hungry.

When was the last time you apologized? Why?
This morning, to my mom. I left a new roll of toilet paper out on the counter last night, and one of our cats found it and shredded it all over the bathroom overnight… hahahah.

Do you ever think about anyone but yourself?
Uh, yeah. What kind of question is that? Humans are social beings.

HOWS:

How did you get one of your scars?
In 2001, I broke my leg in three places by slipping on a wet field and hitting a bump just the wrong way. I had a 4-inch titanium plate and five screws put in, and then removed two years later. Nice 5-inch scar on my lower left leg.

What did you last cry over?
Something angsty.

What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?
She’s The Man. One of my favorite movies. Also talking to Adrian, even before he was my boyfriend.

Have you ever had your heartbroken?
Yeah. A few times.

WHOS:

Who was the last person you saw?
My mom.

Who was the last person you hungout with?
Parents? Does that count?

Who did you last hug?
Daddy.

Who’s the last person you were in a car with besides family?
Adrian, in Louisville.

Do you hold grudges?
Yeah, but they die out after a little while, though.

Think back eight months ago, were you single?
Yeah. These questions are sometimes monotonous.

What do you carry with you at all times?
Wallet, phone, keys. Doesn’t everyone?

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you texted?
Adrian.

Are you jealous of someone right now?
A little. I hate it.

Do you want to start over with anyone?
Mmm.. what happened has happened, can’t really do anything about it.

Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
Yeah, ever since I was a baby apparently.

Is there anything you would change about your life right now?
No, I’ve come to terms with most of it. Ask me again in 3 months.

Would you ever give your number out to a stranger?
Probably, if we hit it off and I were single.

Do you currently have a hickey?
Nope.

Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Yeah. Haha.

Do you miss the way things used to be?
Always. I wax nostalgic a LOT.

When someone says “we need to talk”, what do you think?
Uh oh.

Could you handle a long distance relationship?
Clearly, I can.

Do you ever think about stuff and start crying?
Yeah… I can be emotional. Only alone, really.

How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
Fairly often, actually. More with some people than others.

Last person you told a secret to?
Adrian, most likely.

Do you like hugs and kisses?
Of course.

Do you like to take walks?
Yeah, especially with my camera.

What would you name your future daughter?
Grace, Rose, Anne, or Erica.

Anything you have to say about your best friend?
I don’t have one best friend, so no.

Explain what triggered your last kiss?
Parting ways.

Ever kissed someone who’s name starts with an “C” or “R”?
Nope.

When’s the last time you received bad news?
Sometime in July.

Is there anyone that doesn’t like you?
Probably, though I hope not.

Do you consider yourself lucky?
In some ways, yes.

Have you ever been awake for 2 days straight?
Yeah. It sucked. Never again.

Are you mad at someone right now?
No. Didn’t this question already happen?

Who did you spend your summer with last year?
Jiyeon, mostly; and the people in my summer session classes. And Aaron when he visited.

Where did you get the shirt you’re wearing?
Into The Streets Day!

Do you miss anyone?
Obv.

Do you believe exes can be friends?
Mm, depends on how good of friends they were before dating, and the circumstances of the breakup.

Is anything bothering you?
A mosquito bite.

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your own bed?
On the bus home from the airport Sunday night.

What are you craving at the moment?
Bread.

What is more important in a relationship, happiness or trust?
Trust. Happiness waxes and wanes depending on the rest of life, but if there’s no trust, there can’t be any happiness at all.

Have a best friend?
Several. Or none, depending on how you look at it.

Did the one person who hurt you most apologize?
Nope.

Does the last person who texted you make you smile?
His jokes always make me smile, no matter how bad.

Would you rather take a relationship really slow or really fast?
Really slow. Anticipation can be fun.

Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?
What? How could that possibly work?

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
TA, yes. Teacher, no. Haha.

Do you like horror or comedy?
Comedy, yes. Horror, not so much.

Do you think any of your ex’s will eventually want to be with you again?
Who knows.

Have you ever fallen asleep in someone’s arms?
Yeah. It’s nice.

What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed?
I am NOT having a baby right now. No effing way. Maybe not ever.

Are you in a complicated relationship?
No, unless long-distance = complicated.

That was long and involved! That’s what she said! I’m done wasting time now…

In case you didn’t pick it up by reading this (or if you didn’t read it at all… perfectly understandable), I’m moving to NYC in a week’s time… yikes! I’ll probably have lots to blog about once I’m there and settling in… Stay tuned!